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The Online Magazine FOR and ABOUT Southside Virginia

8/10/2020

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Mar '09 Contents

Mar '09 Cover
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Articles

Memories of Chicken Gravy and Faith
By Gert Slabach

The Gingerbread House By Tammy Tillotson

Piedmont Arts Association
(Info and Events)

Skateboarding in Southside

 

Columns

South Winds
(Broken Eggs)
By FCOIT

Southside Gardener
(March To Do List)
By William H. McCaleb

Ask Bubba - Advice
(Parody)
The Bubba-nator


Departments

Editor's Page
()

V & B Comics
(Verrnack & Blupirk)

Past Issues

Past Issues are available from June 2008 through the current issue.
Select the desired issue from the drop-down box below.

 

 


Ask Bubba


The Bubba-nator - March 09

 

Dear Bubba,

   I need your help. Ladybugs have taken over my house.

   I always thought they were cute and harmless, but they are starting to get on my nerves. They are everywhere. I clean my house one day and they are all over the next.

   I know they are good for something so I don't want to harm them, but I want them outta my house.

   Got any ideas?

  Signed,
Bugged,
South Bugston, VA

 

Dear Bugged,

   The critter you are dealing with is really not a ladybug like we used to have when when Bubba was a kid. They are really whatcha call an Asian Beetle. (Harmonia axyridis for all you too-smart-fer-yer-own-good folks) It seems a bunch of years ago some joker got the bright idea to invite them to the party for an all-you-can-eat aphid buffet. The Solution Store - Click for our Current Sale Flyer

   Well - you know how such great ideas go. Now we's stuck with 'em.

   Sooo, you say you don't want to harm the little varmints? Well, ain't that nice? Here's a couple outfits you could hook up with. Maybe they can tell ya how to live in peace and horrormony with yer bugs.

   There is the
INSECT RIGHTS ASSOCIATION
Hug a bug today and make the planet a better place.
http://insectrights.org/

   Or
PETI (People For Ethical Treatment of Insects)
Who thinks we should
"SAVE THE BUGS -- LOWER THE SPEED LIMIT TO 35 MPH"
Brought to you as a public service by the People For Ethical Treatment of Insects
http://www.bandersnatch.com/bug.htm

   Maybe you could git some real tiny ones of them Hav-a-hart traps and do a catch and release kinda deal. Now wouldn't that be down right civilized?

Ladybug in Hav-a-hart trap

   When you decide that ain't quite working out the way you hoped, you could step up to something a little more permanant. Like this little jewel.

Ladybug trap

   Of course you might have a few imposters getting caught goin' after yer bait.

Kamakazie Mouse

   It might also be a little on the slow side going after them one at a time. Doncha think? Asian Beetle Infestation

   Riiiiight.     You is kidding Bubba, ain't ya?

   Once ya get a infesteration of them you ain't gonna get rid of them too easy.

   Now when you get tired of that pile of them in your sink and every-darn-where-else, and are ready to quit foolin' around. Do what Ol' Bubba does. Get ya some Military-grade exterminatin' equipment, like this baby.

Using a Flame thrower on bugs

   It's a mite hard on the real estate, but it will for darn sure get rid of them cotton pickin' bugs.

   Just make sure your fire insurance is all paid up before ya cuts loose.

   Good luck,

Bubba

------------------------

Disclaimer: Use of the Bogus advice above is probably foolish.
And is likely to get your insurance cancled, never mind burnin' yer house down.

  

------------------------

   Editor's Note:
For some actual information on Ladybugs and Asian Beetles try:

   Virginia Tech Ladybug/Asian Beetle Fact Sheet
https://www.pubs.ext.vt.edu/444/444-275/444-275.html

   USDA Ladybug/Asian Beetle Fact Sheet
http://www.ars.usda.gov/is/br/lbeetle/index.html

------------------------

That's all for this month.

If you have a question burnin' a hole in yer noggin, Bubba can help.

Just E-Mail Bubba
askbubba@discoversouthside.com 

 

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